Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Green Tea
No blog for a while now, and none on the horizon either. Could be July 6-7 before I can get back to it. I am working for my father in law setting up an auction in Columbia Falls. One of the nastiest things I have done in a while. All of these old sheds were stuffed with well, shit and then locked up, oh and all the roofs leak. You know your average dump truck, 2 axles just standard big truck, well that is 12 yards. Well we had 2 trailer loads of just moldy clothes, something like 10 yards total. 10 cubic yards of cloth that has been damp for the last 10 years. As the weight piled on the moisture oozed out and trickled off the tail of the trailer. For the life of me the squeezings looked just like Green Tea. So what are you drinking?
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Pimp ‘N Da House
The trim is starting to go up! I continue to be amazed at what a difference trim makes to a room. We reused the old fir trim boards but I completely reworked it into a vertical column Greek or Roman looking thing. You can get the same stuff at the home center but pay $10-15 a stick for it. I will show you the table saw setup I use if I remember. It is called a molding cutter and any table saw of moderate size will run it. The cutter will run you new $100-200 depending on quality; used is fine and even less. Sounds like a lot but remember that is only 10 or 20 sticks of trim, measure some and you will see how much you can save making it yourself. You do not need a saw the size of the one you see the table sitting on. A decent contractor saw is one thing you will never regret buying for a remodel job, even if you have to buy one used, then sell it when your done for what you paid for it. Having said that I just want friends and family to know that as of this moment I have 3 table saws up for adoption. I would be glad to lend any of these three long-term, duration of the renovation if you need.
Pictures are random shots of doing the trim, a demonic one of me staining a cut, tools on the floor and a shot of the end product.
The hairy butt bugs were so tiny they oozed down into the finish layer and became almost invisible, remember they were so tiny they could fit through the screen. Just sucked up and vanished. I had a hard time on hands and knees locating even one to show my wife. Ha screw you Mother Nature!
Pictures are random shots of doing the trim, a demonic one of me staining a cut, tools on the floor and a shot of the end product.
The hairy butt bugs were so tiny they oozed down into the finish layer and became almost invisible, remember they were so tiny they could fit through the screen. Just sucked up and vanished. I had a hard time on hands and knees locating even one to show my wife. Ha screw you Mother Nature!
Monday, June 12, 2006
The Fortress of Solitude
Ok, so this is how I think it went down…
(you kind of have to read it like an old Flash Gordon or Doc Savage episode)
Secure in her Fortress of Solitude Mother Nature is monitoring the world as images flash to her on a wall of video screens. In her left hand is a gin and tonic, her right fist hovers over a large red button labeled “smite”. Taking a hit of her drink ‘M’ pounds the smite button and laughs, out in Utah a humming bird is sucked into an industrial fan. Suddenly a flashing image catches her eye.
“Hey back that one up,” bellows ‘M’
“Uh this one” asks one of her minions, sort of a duckbilled platypus looking thing, I think, its not important- moving on
“No you ovarian clutching warm blooded tattle wit the other one,” screeches big ‘M’
“This one?”
“No over there, to your left, no my left look see the direction your going, not there” hollers ‘M’ while pounding the “smite” button repeatedly in frustration. In Mongolia a yak falls off a mountain, in France a puppy decides to play in the road and in Africa a Red Assed Baboon gets hemorrhoids.
“How about this one?”
“Arghhh!” again with the pounding, the Baboon’s rhoids explode killing 12 and setting the forest on fire.
For some time this continues, when you have an infinite number of video screens it can get confusing. Eventually the screen is located and the scene in question expanded across the wall. On the screen a teacher home for the summer is preparing to put the last coat of finish on a floor he has been slaving away at for weeks. It is a masterpiece, the crowning achievement of the human race. Around the man are the tools of the trade. A brand new finish pad is carefully prepared for its moment of glory. The pad is briskly vacuumed to make sure all loose fibers are removed, giving the floor a blemish free shine. Behind him is a pile of clean lint free rags moistened with paint thinner, beyond that a pile of rags that have just been used to re-wipe the entire floor, everything is ready.
“Bring me the red phone,” barks Mother Nature
“But ‘M’ why, what has he done to disserve the wrath of the red phone?” asks a minion cowering in the corner.
“His lawn mower is an abomination, the phone NOW!”
A bright red phone is brought out, its an old rotary dial with an ominous flashing light, oh and an antenna, ooh ooh ooh and it is probably smoking, yeh, its smoking. ‘M’ speaks into the handset for a minute and hangs it up with a sadistic grin. Out in the wilds of Montana a horde is stirring.
“Oh no you didn’t unleash the white beasts on the poor man did you, that’s cruel” squeaks the minion.
“Yes as we speak gabafriblillionzillions of my white hairy butt bugs are converging on the house, homing in on the light he is unable to turn off once he starts coating the floor,” cackles Mother Nature.
“Oh but he is totally unprepared! Yesterday there were no bugs, he will have no idea the danger he is in!”
“Oh yes, I have held this hatching in reserve, waiting for the night he tried to finish the finish. I made these special, small enough to pass through the window screens they will be drawn the light and cluster on the ceiling, invisible thanks to their little hairy white asses” gasps ‘M’ in an overly long and complex explanation
“Oh so as long as the light is on they will remain fixated by its beacon glow, right?” asks the minion.
“No that’s the beauty of my plan, I made these bugs susceptible to the fumes! Like graduation night at a Prep school, the merest whiff of finish fumes will bring them crashing down in a heap of shattered morals and tiny hairy white butts!”
Back in Montana the finish is flowing on smooth and easy thanks to the nearly hour-long preparations of our incredibly handsome hero. A tiny white speck appears on the floor. Himm? that wasn’t there a moment ago he thinks to himself. Grabbing one of his carefully placed lint free rags he arches across the glistening finish, contorting like a doped Russian gymnast to nab the spot. But soon others appear, farther out on the finish, out of the reach of even the most limber and lubricated contortionist. More and more specks start to dot the floor. Bending for a closer look our hero of astatically pleasing proportions watches as the kamikaze hairy butt bug adds its death squiggles to the new floor. Shaking his fist at the screen door he shouts ‘Damn you hairy butt bugs, damn you to hell!’ Moment of cliché passed our hero slumps in resignation of the plight that has befallen him. Determined to remove at least the pestilence he can reach our Fabio-esq hunk grabs a cloth and gets to dabbing. Rag in hand and peering down with grim satisfaction as another death squiggle is acted out our scrumptious hero stops. A closer look… is that bug wearing a Prep school uniform?
Tune in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion of the floor finish saga and find the answer to what everyone has been talking about, was that bug wearing a Prep school uniform?
(you kind of have to read it like an old Flash Gordon or Doc Savage episode)
Secure in her Fortress of Solitude Mother Nature is monitoring the world as images flash to her on a wall of video screens. In her left hand is a gin and tonic, her right fist hovers over a large red button labeled “smite”. Taking a hit of her drink ‘M’ pounds the smite button and laughs, out in Utah a humming bird is sucked into an industrial fan. Suddenly a flashing image catches her eye.
“Hey back that one up,” bellows ‘M’
“Uh this one” asks one of her minions, sort of a duckbilled platypus looking thing, I think, its not important- moving on
“No you ovarian clutching warm blooded tattle wit the other one,” screeches big ‘M’
“This one?”
“No over there, to your left, no my left look see the direction your going, not there” hollers ‘M’ while pounding the “smite” button repeatedly in frustration. In Mongolia a yak falls off a mountain, in France a puppy decides to play in the road and in Africa a Red Assed Baboon gets hemorrhoids.
“How about this one?”
“Arghhh!” again with the pounding, the Baboon’s rhoids explode killing 12 and setting the forest on fire.
For some time this continues, when you have an infinite number of video screens it can get confusing. Eventually the screen is located and the scene in question expanded across the wall. On the screen a teacher home for the summer is preparing to put the last coat of finish on a floor he has been slaving away at for weeks. It is a masterpiece, the crowning achievement of the human race. Around the man are the tools of the trade. A brand new finish pad is carefully prepared for its moment of glory. The pad is briskly vacuumed to make sure all loose fibers are removed, giving the floor a blemish free shine. Behind him is a pile of clean lint free rags moistened with paint thinner, beyond that a pile of rags that have just been used to re-wipe the entire floor, everything is ready.
“Bring me the red phone,” barks Mother Nature
“But ‘M’ why, what has he done to disserve the wrath of the red phone?” asks a minion cowering in the corner.
“His lawn mower is an abomination, the phone NOW!”
A bright red phone is brought out, its an old rotary dial with an ominous flashing light, oh and an antenna, ooh ooh ooh and it is probably smoking, yeh, its smoking. ‘M’ speaks into the handset for a minute and hangs it up with a sadistic grin. Out in the wilds of Montana a horde is stirring.
“Oh no you didn’t unleash the white beasts on the poor man did you, that’s cruel” squeaks the minion.
“Yes as we speak gabafriblillionzillions of my white hairy butt bugs are converging on the house, homing in on the light he is unable to turn off once he starts coating the floor,” cackles Mother Nature.
“Oh but he is totally unprepared! Yesterday there were no bugs, he will have no idea the danger he is in!”
“Oh yes, I have held this hatching in reserve, waiting for the night he tried to finish the finish. I made these special, small enough to pass through the window screens they will be drawn the light and cluster on the ceiling, invisible thanks to their little hairy white asses” gasps ‘M’ in an overly long and complex explanation
“Oh so as long as the light is on they will remain fixated by its beacon glow, right?” asks the minion.
“No that’s the beauty of my plan, I made these bugs susceptible to the fumes! Like graduation night at a Prep school, the merest whiff of finish fumes will bring them crashing down in a heap of shattered morals and tiny hairy white butts!”
Back in Montana the finish is flowing on smooth and easy thanks to the nearly hour-long preparations of our incredibly handsome hero. A tiny white speck appears on the floor. Himm? that wasn’t there a moment ago he thinks to himself. Grabbing one of his carefully placed lint free rags he arches across the glistening finish, contorting like a doped Russian gymnast to nab the spot. But soon others appear, farther out on the finish, out of the reach of even the most limber and lubricated contortionist. More and more specks start to dot the floor. Bending for a closer look our hero of astatically pleasing proportions watches as the kamikaze hairy butt bug adds its death squiggles to the new floor. Shaking his fist at the screen door he shouts ‘Damn you hairy butt bugs, damn you to hell!’ Moment of cliché passed our hero slumps in resignation of the plight that has befallen him. Determined to remove at least the pestilence he can reach our Fabio-esq hunk grabs a cloth and gets to dabbing. Rag in hand and peering down with grim satisfaction as another death squiggle is acted out our scrumptious hero stops. A closer look… is that bug wearing a Prep school uniform?
Tune in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion of the floor finish saga and find the answer to what everyone has been talking about, was that bug wearing a Prep school uniform?
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Houston we have a crack problem
Damn these cracks, they just keep coming up to bite me. I tried flowing lots of extra floor finish into them but with no luck. It might work but only if I want to do it 50 times. This time I think I have an idea to lick them for good. I plan on injecting clear epoxy into them with a big syringe. It is one of those totally above and beyond things that I don’t even dare get advice on because people will look at me like I am crazy. “You want to do what? To a fir floor?” Hey I can feel them when I walk on it bare foot, sort of pinches a little. Stupid cracks are the bane of my existence. The floor has 2 coats of poly on it now and is really looking good. In the picture I am sanding the poly to put the 2nd coat on. The dog is helping me. She tried bravely to defend me from the sander and then lost interest. Might be interesting to have a 3 second attention spa.. oh look a skittle!
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Grab a seat, this will take a while.
The lawnmower racing was a blast. I dramatically underestimated the beast I had built. It was clocked at 28 mph at the end of the drag run. I can get it to go faster I know the motor still had some left in it but I lacked the gearing. We did discover one feature it needs, a wheelie bar. That’s right my lawnmower is capable of picking up the front wheels and riding a wheel stand for 45 feet. No not a typo, we paced out from the start of the drag marks left by the trailer hitch to where they stopped. My father in law Dale was driving it at the time. I forgot to tell him that I start out in 2nd at an idle not 3rd at full bore. Seat was clean when he got back so it was all ok. Just for your edification, a lawnmower clutch has 2 positions, on and off. This does not lead itself readily to easing off the line. The one downer of the day was THAT NO ONE ELSE BUILT A RACING LAWNMOWER! They just showed up with their regular mowers dispite rules that stated modifications were encuraged. One old guy tweaked the governor and thought he was Earnheart. I was the only one to fix one up for speed so I guess I win. In fact I did win, a 1 night stay for 2 at a bed and breakfast. They brought out a dune buggy and I raced that over and over. I could take him off the line, as you can see in the picture,
but I ran out of gearing before he did. The only breakage of the day was a blown front tire that can be seen in the other picture. We tried filling it with expanding foam but as you can see from the mess it didn't work. It didn't come off the rim so we kept going. The interest it drew was impressive and next year should be far more competitive.
On the floor front much has progressed. It is all sanded and the bad spot along the wall I showed you before has been patched. The transition between the living room floor and the dining room was tricky. The dining room floor is about a 3/4 of an inch lower. I had been bouncing back and forth between building a bit of a slope and building a transition plate that would step down. We decided the slope. It took some fiddly handwork and some ingenuity but it looks good and works much better than the transition would have. Nothing to step over or trip on. I recommend getting an old box fan to filter the air anytime you are working on the house. Just pick up some furnace filters that cover it and they will stick to the suction side when you turn it on. I sure wish I had done that from the start, the rest of the house would be much cleaner. As we speak we are unable to get to most of the house because the first coat of finish is drying. We can stay on the bedroom side and have access to the beds and bathrooms or on the kitchen side and have access to the food and TV if we want to walk out and around. Waited until bed time and did the floor. In the morning it will be dry enough to sneak across it bare foot to let the dog out. As it is the poor beast is trapped in her kennel. Served her right the little blighter pissed on the kitchen floor.
On the "I'm sure glad I have insurance front" some big things have been happening. I had a chisel slip while working on the wedding gift of a friend. It's that old adage never force a dull tool, well it’s true. 4 stitches. From the picture you would have never thought that’s all it is.
The bandage the nurse put on is more of what I would expect for an amputation rather than a knick. I think they thought it would stop me from going back to work. Suckers. I was proud of Danie, she actually watched them sew it up, pulling the needle through the meat with pliers and everything. What a trooper. For those keeping score this would be the 6th time I have needed stitches, wana see?
At least I was able to keep blood off of what I was working on this time. It is a natural edge table built out of slabs of spalted apple from a dieing tree I cut out of my back yard. I have been real pleased with how it is turning out. At the moment the base is ready for finishing. I will spray it will sealer and then several coats of lacquer. The top still needs some work. The underside of the tabletop is not yet ready for sealing. I use the belt sander and an aggressive belt to get it into shape but I need two good hands to maintain the control I need. It will have to wait a week or so. The legs are cut into the top with a rabbet, as is the brace. The goal is to not have any fasteners. Working well, no screws or nails only glue and since I have cut tenons the legs seem to sprout from the table naturally. I plan on covering the top surface with epoxy. The spalted nature of the wood means that there are some soft spots that have to be dug out, the epoxy fills those level with the surface. Looks like pools of water, very cool effect. If I had just used lacquer the tabletop would be soft and show marks from bumps, writing whatever. Epoxy will not do that.
Well hell, I am going to bed.
but I ran out of gearing before he did. The only breakage of the day was a blown front tire that can be seen in the other picture. We tried filling it with expanding foam but as you can see from the mess it didn't work. It didn't come off the rim so we kept going. The interest it drew was impressive and next year should be far more competitive.
On the floor front much has progressed. It is all sanded and the bad spot along the wall I showed you before has been patched. The transition between the living room floor and the dining room was tricky. The dining room floor is about a 3/4 of an inch lower. I had been bouncing back and forth between building a bit of a slope and building a transition plate that would step down. We decided the slope. It took some fiddly handwork and some ingenuity but it looks good and works much better than the transition would have. Nothing to step over or trip on. I recommend getting an old box fan to filter the air anytime you are working on the house. Just pick up some furnace filters that cover it and they will stick to the suction side when you turn it on. I sure wish I had done that from the start, the rest of the house would be much cleaner. As we speak we are unable to get to most of the house because the first coat of finish is drying. We can stay on the bedroom side and have access to the beds and bathrooms or on the kitchen side and have access to the food and TV if we want to walk out and around. Waited until bed time and did the floor. In the morning it will be dry enough to sneak across it bare foot to let the dog out. As it is the poor beast is trapped in her kennel. Served her right the little blighter pissed on the kitchen floor.
On the "I'm sure glad I have insurance front" some big things have been happening. I had a chisel slip while working on the wedding gift of a friend. It's that old adage never force a dull tool, well it’s true. 4 stitches. From the picture you would have never thought that’s all it is.
The bandage the nurse put on is more of what I would expect for an amputation rather than a knick. I think they thought it would stop me from going back to work. Suckers. I was proud of Danie, she actually watched them sew it up, pulling the needle through the meat with pliers and everything. What a trooper. For those keeping score this would be the 6th time I have needed stitches, wana see?
At least I was able to keep blood off of what I was working on this time. It is a natural edge table built out of slabs of spalted apple from a dieing tree I cut out of my back yard. I have been real pleased with how it is turning out. At the moment the base is ready for finishing. I will spray it will sealer and then several coats of lacquer. The top still needs some work. The underside of the tabletop is not yet ready for sealing. I use the belt sander and an aggressive belt to get it into shape but I need two good hands to maintain the control I need. It will have to wait a week or so. The legs are cut into the top with a rabbet, as is the brace. The goal is to not have any fasteners. Working well, no screws or nails only glue and since I have cut tenons the legs seem to sprout from the table naturally. I plan on covering the top surface with epoxy. The spalted nature of the wood means that there are some soft spots that have to be dug out, the epoxy fills those level with the surface. Looks like pools of water, very cool effect. If I had just used lacquer the tabletop would be soft and show marks from bumps, writing whatever. Epoxy will not do that.
Well hell, I am going to bed.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Yes I have all my teeth!
Well its official. I have tried to hide from it behind prose and phonetically complex arrangements but I can hide no longer, I am a hillbilly. Take my new lawnmower for example. A regular reader of this might assume I got a new lawn mower to well mow. Nope, that would be far too easy. I got the new lawnmower to race. Lawn mower racing, it’s been sweeping trailer parks around the country. Feet first, teeth out balls to the wall racing clocking speeds in excess of 11mph. Some classes go faster but my hick town is only going to do stock mowers this time to see how much interest there is. Well if it has a motor and there is a chance of wrecking it I’m in. Most of the “souping up” consisted of just cleaning all the rusty crap but I did swap on some slightly larger tires, clean and lube all relevant bearing surfaces and drain the tar out of the rear end for some HP friendly synthetic gear oil. Tomorrow I will find out if I can mess with the governor to get some more RPMs which will mean more speed. Oh I almost forgot the most important part, the iridescent black/violet color shifting metallic flake paint. Crap costs $100 a gallon if you were to buy it normally. I forget where I got it but I sure didn’t pay $100! With out a clear coat it is too soft for normal use and scratches but hell it is a lawnmower I plan to drive in circles and crash into old guys. The race is Sat, I will post pictures.
