Out of Plumb

Well its official. I have tried to hide from it behind prose and phonetically complex arrangements but I can hide no longer, I am a hillbilly. Take my new lawnmower for example. A regular reader of this might assume I got a new lawn mower to well mow. Nope, that would be far too easy. I got the new lawnmower to race. Lawn mower racing, it’s been sweeping trailer parks around the country. Feet first, teeth out balls to the wall racing clocking speeds in excess of 11mph. Some classes go faster but my hick town is only going to do stock mowers this time to see how much interest there is. Well if it has a motor and there is a chance of wrecking it I’m in. Most of the “souping up” consisted of just cleaning all the rusty crap but I did swap on some slightly larger tires, clean and lube all relevant bearing surfaces and drain the tar out of the rear end for some HP friendly synthetic gear oil. Tomorrow I will find out if I can mess with the governor to get some more RPMs which will mean more speed. Oh I almost forgot the most important part, the iridescent black/violet color shifting metallic flake paint. Crap costs $100 a gallon if you were to buy it normally. I forget where I got it but I sure didn’t pay $100! With out a clear coat it is too soft for normal use and scratches but hell it is a lawnmower I plan to drive in circles and crash into old guys. The race is Sat, I will post pictures.