Sunday, July 23, 2006
So what’s in your drawers?
I am so hot. No I don’t mean like that. (well between me and you I do mean like that but I digress) It has been so hot here the last few days. 107 degrees according to the bank thermometer. The windowless, walk in closet wannabe that I use as an office/junk depository is like sitting in a dry sauna only with more junk and less naked. 92 degrees in here. I am well on my way to leaving a sweaty ass print on the chair. I can post pictures if you’d like.
The Rat-Hole crew stopped by and I almost talked them into hauling home a bunch of stuff but didn’t quite make it. If I had more time I might have gotten rid of the old furnace that has been sitting on the front porch for almost a year. So close!
All I have accomplished is striping and panting the old sideboard/dresser thing we use as crap storage. Its that place were the half dead batteries and dried up pens are carefully preserved for future ah... use? It got me thinking about the importance of the American junk drawer. Some guy on TV this morning called it an epidemic. Like you could catch a bad case of junk drawer.
Doctor: “Nurse, notice the proliferation of hand panted roosters and dried up pens from local dairies, what we have here is an advanced case of Pennsylvania Dutch Drawer Disease.”
Nurse: “Oooo are those batteries any good, the purple ones with no english writing?”
The cabinet I am working on is to be totally honest butt ugly. Type of thing you might find in a meth house. So why you might ask yourself am I trying to save it, well it has six gorgeous drawers. The guy who built it may have had no sense of proportions or style but he knew his drawers. These things could hold a preschooler. They have no roller slides, no fancy Teflon just wood on wood. Rain or shine, hot or cold you can open these things with one hand and close them with one finger. I took one out and weighed drawer and contents on the bathroom scale and it was over 50 lbs and still slid like a dream. Its the one saving grace of the USS Ugly. We could just get rid of it but God forbid we toss out our dried up pens, broken party noisemakers and my ever growing collection of paper scraps with the phone numbers of people I no longer need to call. But what if someday I need to call my study partner from my film and lit class in college? She still lives in that dorm, right?
The Rat-Hole crew stopped by and I almost talked them into hauling home a bunch of stuff but didn’t quite make it. If I had more time I might have gotten rid of the old furnace that has been sitting on the front porch for almost a year. So close!
All I have accomplished is striping and panting the old sideboard/dresser thing we use as crap storage. Its that place were the half dead batteries and dried up pens are carefully preserved for future ah... use? It got me thinking about the importance of the American junk drawer. Some guy on TV this morning called it an epidemic. Like you could catch a bad case of junk drawer.
Doctor: “Nurse, notice the proliferation of hand panted roosters and dried up pens from local dairies, what we have here is an advanced case of Pennsylvania Dutch Drawer Disease.”
Nurse: “Oooo are those batteries any good, the purple ones with no english writing?”
The cabinet I am working on is to be totally honest butt ugly. Type of thing you might find in a meth house. So why you might ask yourself am I trying to save it, well it has six gorgeous drawers. The guy who built it may have had no sense of proportions or style but he knew his drawers. These things could hold a preschooler. They have no roller slides, no fancy Teflon just wood on wood. Rain or shine, hot or cold you can open these things with one hand and close them with one finger. I took one out and weighed drawer and contents on the bathroom scale and it was over 50 lbs and still slid like a dream. Its the one saving grace of the USS Ugly. We could just get rid of it but God forbid we toss out our dried up pens, broken party noisemakers and my ever growing collection of paper scraps with the phone numbers of people I no longer need to call. But what if someday I need to call my study partner from my film and lit class in college? She still lives in that dorm, right?
