Out of Plumb

So things have been slow on the house on account of how careless I was. The guys in the staff room were trying to come up with a descriptive term for situations like this. Not necessarily my grand adventure specifically but colossal moments of ignorance in general. We came up with "Fucktard"”. I guess I would define it as someone who makes a monumentally ignorant choice with out the somewhat dubious excuse of diminished mental facilities. It is an apt description of what went down. Not bothering to watch what you are doing while running boards through the jointer makes you a big-time fucktard. Ask me when I see you and I'’ll spill the whole account. No joke I had 2 kids faint when I told the story in school, the administration asked me to stop regaling them. I think it was the sound effects that got them. Like the slapping noise the finger meat made each time the jointer knives came around (rolled up wet paper in a fan) or the sound of trimming the finger bone smooth again with surgical pliers. That was like trimming a dog's nails only with more of snap. As to appearance, get the biggest carrot you can find, bite the top in half lengthwise and pull out that whitish nobly thing that tastes bitter, the cavity that remains is real close, just less orange. It was like you made a mold to cast the tip of a finger bone in pulsating moist pink clay. Hey no problem, your welcome.

I showed that beast of a jointer. I was back on it this weekend, in part just to symbolically "get back on the horse" but also to keep the table saw from getting any ideas. I might have to snap a shot of the blood splatter on the floor, ceiling and walls. Looks more like I lost a leg than a finger. It's everywhere. For the moment I don'’t plan on cleaning it off. I figure it's an appropriate reminder. After all nothing says, "Don'’t be a fucktard"” better than blood on the ceiling.